Ahhh, new love. It’s a feeling so intoxicating, so big, it’s like your skin is going to burst open and the joy and hope and promise of a happily ever after is going to jump out of you shining like the brightest, warmest sun and then will start skipping and dancing around the room not caring who’s watching.
You wish you could bottle the experience because there is no better drug nor feeling other than holding your new born baby in your arms for the first time. In both situations anything is possible, you’re marvelling at a blank slate where love is unconditional and immeasurable. Love is limitless and ubiquitous, enveloping you, emanating from you, becoming you. You embody love and like being gifted with Midas’s touch you can reach out and wildly affect others. We are better just for having been touched by the possibility of “the real thing.”
The difference with a new romance is that no scratch can itch away the intense desire to hear their voice, read a text from them, see them, smell the soap on their skin, or feel their touch [sigh]. The feeling of freedom from previous shackles is as invigorating as jumping into a cool lake from a hot sauna; your body quakes and shivers at the sensory overload, you gasp for breath as you emerge from the cold waters excited, alive, and with a heat still raging inside you. The need for that person is palpable.
As time goes on, the feeling will likely evolve from a twerking lightning bolt of joy, to a calmer waltzing sunbeam. The transition is almost welcomed from the wild pace of the insatiable first stage, where there is a lurking little fear that the feeling may not be requited, which adds to the importance of enjoying it while it is there.
As things go well, the words “I love you” smash against the inside of your lips and you try desperately to swallow them and not let them escape too soon for fear of scaring off your crush, but at the same time there is a wild abandon that makes you want to utter those life changing words unapologetically. Soon it gets to the point where the floodgates cannot contain the rising waters anymore. “I love you” is in every look, every breath, every kiss, and every thought. Then, without thought, or planning, the declaration… the unretractable promise… is unleashed into the world.
If the relationship doesn’t implode like a dark star, the next stage is the warm glow of a lasting, sustainable love. You can now casually tell each other that you love each other, without choking on the size and importance of the words. You affirm your commitment to each other, and do so emphatically, and wholeheartedly, and with forever in your eyes. You steal a glance in their direction, reinforced by the knowledge that they plan to be there to smile back at you for as long as you’ll have them. Visions of a life well-lived provide an infinite montage of possibilities.
This is not a passionless stage, it is simply less frenetic. Magical moments of your courtship can be sown like seeds at anytime and blossom into the most amazing sunflowers, red roses, orchids, and irises. It’s that look across the couch that suddenly becomes a passionate embrace, the kitchen chores that melt into satisfying slow dances, and reminiscing about how you met that brings back the spark, and reminds you of how lucky you are.
Sure, life intervenes, and bad things happen around you and to you, but this love is the force field to block out the majority of attacks. Your person is your sanctuary, where weaknesses can be exposed but are never exploited, where you are supported, encouraged, and bolstered by their presence. The relationship takes on a life of its own, spinning dreams and plans like golden thread, reflecting the sun that once burst forth from inside you. You are one, even when you are not together. You are close, even when physical distance separates you. You are in love. You are loved. You are love.