‘Hair’s’ hoping mighty mullet won’t make return

For many of us, quarantine and working from home looks quite similar. There’s a lot of eating, way too much screen time, and some lax grooming. My days are quickly blurring together where I: wake-up, eat, maybe shower, and then get dressed. Then I “attend” one or more video conferences, and I inevitably have to ask at least one person to mute their mic. The kitchen then calls to me, and I spend too much time staring into the pantry and refrigerator looking for inspiration. After snacking, I finish emails, return a few calls, video conference some more (tell another person to mute their mic), eat more, and then back to the television.

As days turn into weeks, fiction (or what we wish was fiction) is imitating life. I give you exhibit one, ladies and gentlemen; the mullet.

If you are unfamiliar with what a mullet is, congratulations, you have lived well. Some of us experienced the era where the ‘short on top and on the sides and long in the back’ hairstyle was popular. People tried to make it cool by saying that it was: “business up top and party in the back.” It was a lifestyle choice, showing a rebellious nature even if they needed to look professional from the front.

I was a teen in the 1980s, dating mullet “men.” I’d sit in hockey arenas, watching their long hair escaping below their helmets, carried by the wind, as they pushed across the ice. Or I’d attend a rock concert where they would “head-bang” to the music, whipping the long hair at the back of their heads around like tassels on a dancer. It was mid-1990s before women could all breathe a collective sign of relief as barbers everywhere wielded their clippers.

Fast forward to early 2020, where my teen daughter told me that mullets were making a comeback. A chill went up my spine, but I made it through and she could too. Then Mapril happened. Hairdressers were deemed non-essential.

Hair is growing, and I’m worried that our excessive screen time might influence trends again. Two of the Top 10 shows last month on Netflix right were Tiger King and Waco. The lead character in both has a mullet. Granted, both are basically cult leaders, and the bowl cut front of the Tiger King’s hair is particularly heinous, so we may be safe?

Some gents may think that this is the perfect time to grow out their hair. They will grow it for another month or two and then realize with the temperatures climbing, that they want a cooler “do.” Those who were on the fence about the mullet might take cues for pop culture, by cutting the sides and top, but leave proof of their hard work at the back.

Perhaps I shouldn’t talk, because I have been sporting my own type of mullet. I call it the clothing mullet, jammies mullet or Zoom mullet. Nope, it is not hair related, but yes, it is business on the top, and party or pyjamas on the bottom. I snicker at what my unmuted colleagues might be wearing waist-down.

Instead of memes of Tiger King’s fashion faux pas, or worrying about the return of the mullet hairstyle, what say we divert attention on social media with fun pictures of our #clothingmullet, #jammiesmullet or #zoommullet? I’ll start. Now it’s your turn…

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